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I am me, nothing else. yep...deep.

Saturday, 11 June 2011

Chapter eleven

THE INVASION OF THE ROACHES!!!

It's getting hot down here so that means they're here as well....the roaches. Needless to say EW! I hate roaches, not because they're bugs, no no no. I hate them because I know what's on them. dun dun dun. GERMS!! *woman screams in the distance*. I actually respect and find roaches cute, just not in my house where I eat and sleep. *cringe*
One bolted down the hall AT me the other day, so I panicked and screamed for father, you see, I was bare foot and therefore unarmed. Dad made quick work of the scuttling thing and posed victoriously like superman after defeating Lex Luther once again (that last part in my head of course, yeah that's a new thing now. I'm going to tell you how I imagine the world through my eyes. In reality, he glared at me for disturbing him and lumbered off to his cave.) Many hours after dad had gone to sleep I decided to join him in slumber land. I had just finished my nightly routine of turning off all the fans and AC when I got to the hall and flicked on the light (I rarely have them on when I wonder about the house at night), I internally died a little from fright. There on the ceiling, blocking the path to my room and shoes (a.k.a lethal weapons) was a big, fat, roach. The flying kind, the ones I feared the most. There it was looming in my hall way ready to strike (actually it didn't even know I was there, roaches can only see light and dark, and the poor thing was blind and frightened from me turning on the light). Something inside of me snapped. An insect was stopping and frightening I, a human being, from entering my own living quarters. It was war!! I dashed to the kitchen and grabbed the ammonia. I stood before my arch foe (who had just met a mere minute ago) and took deadly aim (as much aim as you can take with a mist spray bottle). I laughed manically as I fired at fowl creature (the laughter was in my head dad was asleep after all). It fell to the ground stunned (flailing). I took this momentary pause in the battle (battle?) and heroically leaped (tip toed) over (around, pinned to the wall), running (fleeing) to my room. I grabbed the nearest weapon (shoe) and let out a feral battled cry (hyperventilating). Before I knew it the thing was crushed under my might (shoe in hand). I returned triumphant to my bedroom to the applause (in my head) of my adoring public (stuffed animals strewn about the floor).
Until my next heroic tail, toodles~!

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